IF RESTAURANTS FUNCTIONED LIKE MICROSOFT!

Patron: Waiter!
Waiter: Hi, my name is Bill, and I'll be your Support.
Waiter. What seems to be the problem?
Patron: There's a fly in my soup!
Waiter: Try again, maybe the fly won't be there this time.
Patron: No, it's still there.
Waiter: Maybe it's the way you're using the soup. Try eating it with a fork instead.
Patron: Even when I use the fork, the fly is still there.
Waiter: Maybe the soup is incompatible with the bowl. What kind of bowl are you using?
Patron: A SOUP bowl!
Waiter: Hmmm, that should work. Maybe it's a configuration problem.
How was the bowl set up?
Patron: You brought it to me on a saucer. What has that to do with the fly in my soup?!
Waiter: Can you remember everything you did before you noticed the fly
in your soup?
Patron: I sat down and ordered the Soup of the Day!
Waiter: Have you considered upgrading to the latest Soup of the Day?
Patron: You have more than one Soup of the Day each day??
Waiter: Yes, the Soup of the Day is changed every hour.
Patron: Well, what is the Soup of the Day now?
Waiter: The current Soup of the Day is tomato.
Patron: Fine. Bring me the tomato soup, and the check. I'm running
late now.

[Waiter leaves and returns with another bowl of soup and the check]

Waiter: Here you are, sir. The soup and your check.
Patron: This is potato soup.
Waiter: Yes, the tomato soup wasn't ready yet.
Patron: Well, I'm so hungry now, I'll eat anything.

[Waiter leaves.]

Patron: Waiter! There's a gnat in my soup!

The check:
Soup of the Day . . . . . . . . . . $5.00
Upgrade to newer Soup of the Day. . $2.50

12 STEP PROGRAM OF RECOVERY FOR WEB ADDICTS 

1) I will have a cup of coffee in the morning and read my PAPER newspaper like I used to, before the Web.
2) I will eat breakfast with a knife and fork and not with one hand typing. 
3) I will get dressed before noon. 
4) I will make an attempt to clean the house, wash clothes, and plan dinner before even thinking of the Web. 
5) I will sit down and write a letter to those unfortunate few friends and family that are Web-deprived. 
6) I will call someone on the phone whom I cannot contact via the Web. 
7) I will read a book...if I still remember how. 
8) I will listen to those around me and their needs and stop telling them to turn the TV down so I can hear the music on the Web. 
9) I will not be tempted during TV commercials to check for e-mail. 
10) I will try and get out of the house at least once a week, whether it is necessary or not. 
11) I will remember that my bank is not forgiving if I forget to balance my checkbook because I was too busy on the Web. 
12) Last, but not least, I will remember that I must go to bed sometime...and the Web will still be there tomorrow!

 
Let's Go Fishing!